On our journey, it is often easier to blame others and point the finger, than look at our true role and responsibility in whatever choices we have made. Somewhere along the way we have contributed to our own success or even failures. When we continuously stay in the victim mindset -- it only thwarts our healing and deeper understanding of ourselves. It keeps us in a viscous cycle that is cloudy and lacks self-awareness. It's an extremely low vibration and can push away the abundance that is trying to come to us and positive manifestations.
Most of us, even spiritually minded individuals, no matter how advanced we think we are...have still battled the victim state of mind at some point. I still struggle with a "poor me" moment, now and again. Even though I have done extensive coaching on this topic, it can still creep up. Someone I deeply care about has hurt my feelings or did not react in the way in which I wanted them to and I take it extremely personally. Suddenly, I do not feel loved or good enough and feel rejected. Something very small has now manifested into a huge thing because I allowed it. I will admit this, openly!
Also, as an empath, it's a socially awkward challenge because I feel everyone else's emotions, as well as my own (that's another topic I will be blogging about soon). The ability to feel someone else's emotions can cause so much confusion because you sense how someone feels for you, but their actions or words totally contradict that. It's tempting to focus in on the other person and blaming them, instead of just moving forwards and accepting it. It's an ongoing process of healing and recognizing your own role in every situation in your reality. We are all "co-creators" here of our own lives.
Now, it doesn't mean that someone gets to treat someone else coldly or poorly, but its bound to happen sometimes. The only lesson you really need to focus on is your own and that is how you react to a situation or allow it to affect you. That is the one thing you do have control over! The other person's responsibility is whether or not they choose to see how they contributed as well, and what they could do different next time. Most of the time they are not aware of doing anything wrong or hurting you. By worrying about just what you can control in your own reality, you can easily snap out of the victim mindset and stop it before it takes over.
It's totally okay to validate your own feelings, if you feel hurt or something was extremely disappointing. Open up to a friend, therapist or spiritual adviser and get things off your chest. Be kind to yourself and acknowledge that you do feel upset, but calmly remind yourself it's in the past and it's not happening right now. Take inventory on the entire situation and try to see it from all angles before you stew in a lack of forgiveness for weeks on end! This is where the healing starts.
Finally, forgiving yourself is key to overcoming a victim state of mind. Forgive yourself for what has happened, whether it was knowingly or unknowingly. Whatever has caused your own emotional harm within yourself or others, let go of it. You are still worthy of abundance, love, hugs, friends and kindness and you do not need to live as a victim or feeling guilt/resent. See the lessons you have learned from each experience and how that it's the other people in our lives that mirror back our imperfections to us. They show us things we can work on and bless them for bringing these things to our attention. Have gratitude that you are now understanding these things and can ascend to the next level spiritually.
For a session on overcoming a victim mindset or for self forgiveness and healing with Ho'oponopono , please contact me - Renee@LotusLightworks.com